Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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