so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
