No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
love makes seman taste better
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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