speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
