Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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