So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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