He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
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Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
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Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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