forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
