How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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