new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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