It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
