I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
