woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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