I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We have started to decorate penises.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
