i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
