Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
