White coat. Heels.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
