she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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