i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
