I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize