My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize