at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
