at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
