awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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