Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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