Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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