i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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