Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
