you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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