Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
