And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I came so hard my ears popped.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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