Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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