sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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