I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
