I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
