I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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