i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
