we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
