non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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