Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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