dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
