You just made me feel so damn special
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
