I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
