I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
