I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
