I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
