My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
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Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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