I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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