THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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