Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
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he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
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Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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