you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize