And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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