My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
