Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
