Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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