I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
