im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize