My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
